Choosing sides/choosing surgeons

I have my next surgery coming up, most likely in the beginning of November. I am not sure as I have not yet decided on which doctor I'm going to use for my surgery. Should I go with the last neurosurgeon or a world renown neurosurgeon? That is the question I have been tossing back and forth in my head.

And it happens to be a very difficult decision. My last surgeon was great and I did well during the surgery and know I would be in good hands and recover just fine if I chose her, plus she said she would pull my forehead back a little bit, giving me a semi-face lift, just in time for approaching my 40's!! Now you're probably thinking, why is there even a decision. But she did my last surgery and there is some residual tumor, meaning some leftovers from my last surgery. For some reason she wasn't able to get it all out, although she initially told us she removed it all, the following MRIs showed differently and now I am up for another surgery and it's not because of regrowth.

The other doctor that I am deciding on is a world renown brain surgeon, people (and movie stars) have come from all parts of the world to have him do their surgery and if you're in as many cancer groups and I am in, his name comes up often. He's the best of the best...so why not let him have a try at a full resection of my tumor. Well since you asked, he doesn't accept insurance. We have to pay cash for his skills, the rest (like my hospital stay, medications, anesthesiologist, etc) will be covered by insurance. But I see that no matter the cost or hardship it may pose on my family, more years on my life is what our ultimate goal is. BTW, this neurosurgeon happens to have written a book that I am currently reading which is helping me choose sides at the moment, although things may change as I've heard he is very cocky and not very friendly.

Although I may feel like going to a new surgeon is like cheating on my last surgeon, I am still in limbo and will wait until I see them both (at separate appointments, of course, so they don't know I'm cheating) on October 28th. At that time, God willing, I will see clearly the right doctor for me.

Other than that things are going fairly well for me, I feel healthy and am continuing to do some natural treatments to fight this disease. Some things are harder than others and at times I get hit with emotions, especially when I think about my kids possible growing up without me and feel the pressure of being the best mom/wife ever so that they will remember the good stuff about me (and not the times that I put them on timeout, etc).