Picture with me...

Last week we attended a funeral for a 50 year dad of 4 young children who passed away from brain cancer. He was in our support group, and like me he received the brain tumor vaccine. Our dear friend TJ, had the best since of humor all thought his battle, until his last days (I'm told). That is such an inspiration to me to live my life to it's fullest until the end.

One thing I saw at his funeral and have noticed at several others I have been to, is a nice professional picture of the deceased. Now that leaves me wondering which picture of mine will be displayed at my funeral or should I get a nice professional picture picked out that I would like to be used. I already have a semi plan for my funeral, but that's another topic.

While I have your attention at pictures, I just want to add that I hate every picture I am in. I don't think I am very photogenic and because of this, I am usually the one taking the pictures. Now that I know my time here is shortened, I have been thinking about making some memories for my children, which would have to include pictures of me. And since I hate myself in pictures this is hard.

I have been thinking about this for a while and I'm sure just about every mom/woman hates themselves in pictures. We always have something slightly off, a hair out of place, etc. After all, we're not models. But as a role model to my children and teenage daughter, I do need to step into the picture way more often.

When I look at pictures of my mom when she was my age, I may laugh at her hair or clothes, but I never think anything bad about her looks, she's just always been beautiful in my eyes. I am so self conscious about my hair, especially now that it is short (I love it when it was long) and I think my smile is crooked and hate the way it looks in pictures. And I'm sure my kids will feel this same way I do about my mom, so I really need to step in front of that camera, bad hair day, crooked smile, and all. Who cares what I look like, I'm sure my kids won't just like I will always think my mom is beautiful, they will do the same for me.

So I went out and took pictures with my children. It was Ben's 4th birthday pictures and I bought a Groupon for them. When asked over the phone for my appointment, I said it would just be either only Ben or all 4 of my children together. When we were getting ready and I was picking out their clothes, I thought maybe I should be in the pictures with them, so I was...

...and now I can only hope that my children will look back at this photo and not only say "where's dad?" but say "our mom was beautiful"! This year I am going to try to be in front of the camera a little more (that's my only resolution).